themoonman

Apr 17, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Words

You got your pocket full of ten-dollar words,
all precise and proper,
way too educated for a man like me ...

except;
I can see the want-to in your look,
the squirm in your seat,
where the shiver-me-here
is apparent ...

and me;
unable to contain myself,
the whisper of words is all that's left ...
I want you

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Pamela A. Lamppa

14 years 3 months ago

Subtly sensual

This is subtly sensual and just a delight to read.
Your ending line is simply stated and all that is needed.
The only change I would make is:

"way to educated for a man like me ..."

to should be "too"

Other than that, I would leave this alone. You have used brevity in verse quite well and everything you needed to say was said. Just lovely. ~Pamela

themoonman

14 years 3 months ago

Hi Pam ...

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it, ain't it just like me to
make a spelling error ... thanks!

Richard

themoonman

14 years 3 months ago

Hi Eph ...

appreciate the tip-o-the-hat ... right back at ya!

Richard

Eduardo Cruz

14 years 3 months ago

Richard

I bow to you and the magic you use to weave your poems. Talk about the value of words, these are worth their weight in gold.
Eddie C

themoonman

14 years 3 months ago

Eddie ...

Thank you sir, a bow back to ya ...

themoonman

14 years 3 months ago

Hiya Chrys ....

Thank you so much for your honesty, it's a very good
quality. I had left this title simple, but now I may have to
come up with something else ... thanks!

My sister doesn't have a computer yet, she is working
on it though.

Richard

scribbler

14 years 3 months ago

hi Richard

They Do say most men marry up lol. Have to agree about title needing work though.............stan

themoonman

14 years 3 months ago

lol

thanks Stan ... agree about the title, got any suggestions?

scribbler

14 years 3 months ago

hello

UNSPOKEN WORDS ?

Geezer

14 years 3 months ago

How about...

Enough Said? I really enjoyed this one, Richard. As the others have said: Brevity, is good! Just what I wish, that I might have said. ~ Gee