A World In Trouble

Pollutions,
corruptions
racism,
degradation.
The lists of misdeeds
is truly long indeed

The world is screaming,
nature's beauty is dying
her soul is suffocating
her body is bleeding

We keep on ravaging
consuming, raping
Blind to her pain,
our lust is insane

When will we realize
what we've done to her,
we do to ourselves
to our own future?!

We can pray,
hope and sing
but nothing is changing
when actions are missing.......

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: singapore, SGP

Favorite Poets: Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Sarojini Naidu and friends in Neopoet.

Comments

William Saint George

11 years 5 months ago

This poem is pretty straight

This poem is pretty straight forward. Your rhyming wasn't bad too.

alidzain

11 years 5 months ago

Thanks

thanks for the visit and the comment, bro.

Rula

11 years 5 months ago

Very true

No real actions are taken seriously. You hit the head of the nail with this Khalid. I love the touch of personification that you added to your verses especially the second stanza

"The world is screaming,
nature's beauty is dying
her soul is suffocating
her body is bleeding"
it adds an intimate feeling.

Well done!

alidzain

11 years 5 months ago

Thanks, Rula

Thank you for the visit and the comment.

Alid..

scribbler

11 years 5 months ago

hello

There is too much lip service given to changing things toward the better and too little action. I'm no free verse specialist but have some ideas for you to mull over. The 1st 2 lines of this poem read as a list. So why not put them in a list ?
Pollution
Corruptions
racism
degradation...
Doing this gives the reader pause to consider each item instead of just racing through them.
stanza 2,line 2 Consider dropping either Nature's or beauty. I don't know why, it's maybe redundant?
third stanza is the heart of this poem I think and is perfect as is

Well, just a few thought from an old rhymer. BTW It always pleases me to see some rhyme in a free verse poem................stan