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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem explores the profound emotional turmoil associated with the fear of losing a loved one to death, employing vivid imagery and metaphor to convey the depth of grief and the erosion of self that follows.

Strengths: - The use of metaphorical language such as "death's cold hands," "burning into your heart," and "hurricane rushing into sand" effectively evokes the intensity and violence of emotional suffering. - The progression from fear to sadness to a state of fractured sanity is clear and compelling, providing a narrative arc that guides the reader through the stages of grief. - The closing reference to Jesus weeping adds a poignant, universal dimension to the personal experience of loss, inviting reflection on shared human vulnerability.

Areas for improvement: - Some phrases could benefit from tighter syntax or clearer imagery. For example, "runs through your clay" is intriguing but somewhat ambiguous; clarifying whether "clay" symbolizes the body, the self, or something else might enhance impact. - The line "Even when the walls sing and nature play / The melodies become your disaster" introduces a surreal image that could be developed further or made more concrete to strengthen its emotional resonance. - The poem’s rhythm and flow are occasionally disrupted by uneven line lengths and punctuation choices. Experimenting with line breaks and punctuation might improve readability and emotional pacing. - Consider varying the diction to avoid repetition of common words like "you" and "your," which appear frequently and may dilute the poem’s intensity. Introducing synonyms or rephrasing could add freshness and depth.

Overall, the poem conveys a powerful emotional experience with evocative imagery but would benefit from refinement in clarity, rhythm, and linguistic variety to fully realize its potential.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

 Death's cold hands close-up. Been on both sides of the fence too, so to speak. So, I know what it takes to write something like this. I commend you for your efforts. Pay closer attention to the metaphors that you associate: Death's cold hands, would be more likely to "Grasp my freezing heart"  How do you fill a "fading piece of human"? Maybe [a faded, rag of human] filled with grief and memories.

I think that the last seven lines, need to have their own stanza, starting with: 
You're no longer sane... and use some more punctuation in those lines. 
~ Geez.
 

Our experiences are what make us cry and sing, from my own point of view I let music do all of the work. Music allows me to feel the things that others might see and feel. Everything can be lyrical, happiness, grief and pain. I really did enjoy your poem!

Hello, Sheddie,

The title really brought me in. I believe it represents Christ, which magnifies your strong final line.  I believe you also refer to the short Bible verse, "Jesus wept" regarding Jesus' sorrow and compassion for his dear Lazarus.  So sorry if this is not correct.  It is the way the poem spoke to me - reminding the reader that the deep pain and suffering we experience may be comforted in knowing it is also shared with Jesus.

"...everything you see points to the colour of your beloved."  Beautiful sentiment.

Thank you,

L