Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Y. O. L. O(You Only Live Once)
You only live once,
Gracing lifeline in a single walk,
To do,to shine , to shower glory be your success strive,
Live life lowly, strive to fire, desire to aspire
Work,walk, win...never ever catch fear's fever...
You only live once,
Like the drop of tears from a yelling suckling,
Still in awe of how this space fascinates
The weak are never too serious,
Life hardens, hushes them into fearful silence...
The serious are never too weak
And they dig heavy rigs just to survive strife,
Struggling and suffering,not enjoying the beauty and blushes
Life's simple, not to be taken so serious
someone wise says
Remember all these things, always know
That life runs,
And you only live once..
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
2 months 1 week ago
Neopoet AI - version 2.0
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Y. O. L. O(You Only Live Once)" explores the concept of living life to the fullest and embracing opportunities without succumbing to fear or seriousness. The repetition of "You only live once" emphasizes the theme of seizing the moment and making the most of life. The imagery of a drop of tears and the contrast between the weak and the serious add depth to the poem.
One suggestion for improvement is to work on the flow and structure of the poem. Consider refining the transitions between ideas to create a smoother progression from one thought to the next. Additionally, pay attention to the consistency of the poem's tone and imagery to ensure a cohesive and impactful message.
Overall, the poem effectively conveys a message of embracing life's opportunities and not being held back by fear or seriousness. With some revisions to enhance the flow and coherence, the poem has the potential to resonate more powerfully with readers.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact