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Jun 10, 2025
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You made me remember
Hey Bruce,
a call out to you
once again.
You made me remember
what I was worth
and what I had to do
to improve my life.
You made me think about
the bright sunny side of the street.
You made me aware
of just how many things I do
every day,
and not just for me.
You made me recall
just how good I really was
at getting stuff done
in a timely manner.
Hey Bruce,
you made me,
or rather re-made me
in a better way
than I was before.
How lucky I am
that I found you.
You are pretty tough,
even with that gentle face,
but you are usually right.
The decisions I have made
for my mind, body and soul
are all due
to that session with you.
I am working asidously
to being my best
and it makes me feel beautiful
( deep inside of me).
There is only
lightness and light
in the way I live
and with the people I meet.
I am active
and part of this world
and it is now authentically me.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: The mood is good. The mood is upbeat. I am at the top of my game.
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
2 weeks 1 day ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem conveys a heartfelt tribute to "Bruce," presumably a mentor or therapist, who has inspired personal growth and self-awareness. The overall tone is sincere and reflective, emphasizing transformation and gratitude.
Strengths: - The poem’s direct address creates intimacy and immediacy, drawing the reader into the speaker’s relationship with Bruce. - The theme of self-improvement and rediscovery is clear and consistently developed throughout. - The use of everyday language makes the poem accessible and relatable.
Areas for improvement: 1. **Rhythm and Flow:** The poem reads somewhat like prose broken into lines rather than a crafted poetic rhythm. Introducing more deliberate meter or varied line lengths could enhance musicality and engagement. 2. **Imagery and Figurative Language:** While the poem mentions "the bright sunny side of the street" and "lightness and light," more vivid and varied imagery would deepen emotional impact. Consider metaphors or sensory details that evoke transformation more powerfully. 3. **Line Breaks and Punctuation:** The poem’s structure could benefit from more intentional line breaks and punctuation to guide pacing and emphasis. For example, some lines feel abrupt or could be combined for stronger effect. 4. **Word Choice and Spelling:** There is a misspelling ("asidously" likely intended as "assiduously") that disrupts reading. Careful proofreading will improve clarity and professionalism. 5. **Depth of Reflection:** The poem states many positive changes but could explore more nuanced emotions or challenges faced during transformation to add complexity and resonance.
Overall, focusing on refining poetic devices and structural elements will strengthen the poem’s emotional power and artistic expression.
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