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Jul 03, 2025
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Your Faithful Friend
Sometimes, I say, it's good to drink.
It clouds the brain so you don't think
so deeply or with too much care.
Inebriation acts like prayer!
It mollifies and melts your fears,
and turns to joy your tortured tears.
When alcohol's your faithful friend,
the world that drives you round the bend
will morph, and be a thing with wings,
a tiny fly or bird that sings.
Whose buzz won't bother you at all.
Whose caw will ring like song thrush call.
When fearful sights and tragic tales
are shown and told, then sorrow sails.
It seems unreal. The pain recedes
The Son of God, for you, He bleeds,
and meaning merges in your mind
with wonder: it is redefined!
Sometimes, when on your third or forth
the wind may blow from south or north.
No matter that the storm clouds meet
above your head, the beer tastes sweet!
And Life you'll deem a dazzling dream,
a perfect Paradise will seem.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: dedicated to all my poet friends, noble boozers one and all
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
3 months ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem explores the complex relationship between alcohol and emotional experience, portraying inebriation as a temporary refuge from pain and overthinking. The central metaphor of alcohol as a "faithful friend" is compelling, though it raises questions about dependency and escapism that could be further nuanced.
The rhyme scheme is consistent and traditional, lending a sing-song quality that contrasts with the serious subject matter. This contrast can be effective, but at times the meter feels slightly uneven, particularly in lines like "Sometimes, when on your third or forth," where "forth" disrupts the flow due to its less common usage and placement. Revising such lines for smoother rhythm would enhance readability.
The poem’s imagery—transforming the world into a "tiny fly or bird that sings"—is vivid and evocative, effectively conveying the altered perception under intoxication. However, some phrases, such as "The Son of God, for you, He bleeds," introduce religious symbolism that feels somewhat abrupt and might benefit from deeper integration or clearer connection to the poem’s themes.
Consider expanding on the emotional complexity beyond the initial relief alcohol provides. For example, exploring the consequences or the tension between temporary solace and long-term effects could add depth. Additionally, the ending suggests a "perfect Paradise," which may read as ironic or sincere; clarifying the tone here could strengthen the poem’s overall impact.
In summary, refining meter, deepening thematic exploration, and clarifying tone—especially regarding religious imagery and the poem’s stance on alcohol—would enhance the poem’s resonance and cohesion.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
3 months ago
I thought...
that this piece was funny, sad and achingly prophetic; but as long as you T.C.B. I would say that it is not a problem, just a panache way of life. Nicely done sir. ~ Geez.
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Blue-eyed Bolla
3 months ago
Your Faithful Friend
Many thanks, Geezer.