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Oct 22, 2019
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Your Silence
Your silence
is meaningless
why do you wish to be silent
when nature has given you a voice
even the silent waves
wish to roar
cancel their silence
will or can you
I dare
so do the seas adore
much more
as they are not silent
they continue to love you
as before
your silence
kills for sure
stay silent I pray no more
praise all
the world will adore
for sure
see the sun set's in silence
what a shame
yet you're still silent
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Rula
5 years 9 months ago
Loved
Not sure why you have put the two poems as one
submission. I read the first and it was perfect for me until the last line. It reads awkward as it is.
I suggest:
Yet you're still silent
Other than that nothing I see need to change.
Kudos!
lovedly
5 years 9 months ago
understood shall redo
Rula thanks
lovedly
5 years 9 months ago
will replace for drafts no PLACE in neo's
Canadian Spring
See out of your window
the snow has melted
birds are now flying
trees have small greenery
as yellow shrubs also become green
the lawns surface from beneath
the melting snow
the sun does now seem to go slow
the nights are shorter
the sunset too late
spring is awesome
at Canada's plate
I too float about your country
mostly
as I love it
from across the American
Niagara vision
at the onset of summer needs
a broader perceptive vision
American and Canadian
You'd love it
lovedly
5 years 9 months ago
Now Second One
RE-POSTED as promised