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Jul 22, 2024
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Your stain
I saw you again
In my peripheral,
Your shadow reminded me-
I’m such a fool.
I heard you again,
In the walls,
Your whisper reminded me-
You took it all.
I smelt you again
In my sheets,
Your absence reminded me-
I won’t sleep.
I can taste you again,
On my skin,
Your comfort reminded me-
Lovers patience thins.
I felt you again
In my gut,
Your punches reminded me-
It’ll never be enough.
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
11 months 1 week ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
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Ruby Lord
11 months 1 week ago
This was really good. I loved
This was really good. I loved the way you used all the senses to write a strong and meaningful poem and about the physical separation of a lover. Ruby :) xx
Candlewitch
11 months 1 week ago
hello professor jinx,
I agree with Ruby's thoughts on your poem. but it was not just that you used the five senses, it is the way you did so! The poem flowed well from beginning to ending... these are my favorite lines:
I heard you again,
In the walls,
Your whisper reminded me-
You took it all.
I smelt you again
In my sheets,
Your absence reminded me-
I won’t sleep.
excellent poem of loss, and yes, regret...
*hugs, Cat
Candlewitch
11 months 1 week ago
p.s.
Welcome to Neopoet! It is very nice to meet you.
*hugs, Cat
Lavender
11 months 1 week ago
Your Stain
Hello, Professor,
It's been some time since my heart was ripped and broken, but reading this poem brought it all back. So good it actually makes me a bit uncomfortable. Your title is perfect and adds to the infliction.
Thank you,
Lavender
professor jinx
11 months 1 week ago
Thank you
As much as i send you my sympathy as heart break is horrid, i'm glad that i could make someone feel something.