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Oct 30, 2012
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Your world and mine
Color my world,
my mind
and my life.
With the sweetness,
of your red soft lips.
Share me...
the dark blue sky.
Without the white clouds,
could cover...
my pearlness light.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Hello Cat, This is my first poem that I wrote in English. I don,t really, if I wrote it right. The " PEARLNESS ", I think is not in the dictionary. I don't know. Please, criticize to the fullest. Because I still have some to be criticize by you and them. This for now. Thanks, Julio Eborlas Jr.
Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Ian.T
12 years 12 months ago
Julio
"Pearlness" yep it's in the dictionary also "Pearliness" with the i in there both are similar in their description of having a coating of pearl.
Welcome to Neopoet, and here you should have great fun in learning as we all write together, also where we comment on others writing as well as possible, anyway I look forward to your other pieces,
Yours Ian.T