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This poem is part of the challenge:

09/24 The Bully

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Zack

Im shaving my head to a skinhead my
Eyes are hemorrhaging red with hatred
I wish everyone was dead, vomiting blood

and spilling out a pile of guts and crimson lines
of dripping throats

My fist crunches against the mirror shards fly like
spears, like my life I can't fix back together

I snap out of my deep thoughts and take my
head out of my desk, as the school
bell vibrates my heavy restless chest . I walk pass
shapes of crowded

voices and squint my eyes into deadly sharp daggers
They cut into a skinny boy minding his own
business, I charge knocking him onto his ass
but he is saved from his stupid rucksack, his
thick glasses jump off his face by the impact

My shadow creeps over my victim like a
thick fog over a city. He scrambles to get
to his feet and create distance, my dms are
slapping behind him.

I catch up with a psycho grin and pull out
my compass ready to drive it in, his eyes swung back
haunted wide screaming for his life why why.

Next thing I know my hands are around his throat
Squeezing until he stops fighting and eventually
stops kicking.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Uk, GBR

More from this author

Comments

Leslie

Leslie

9 months 1 week ago

Zack

Great vocab I like it, but a bit too violent. Someone innocent gets hurt,but keep writing I like your style!

Jokerface82

Jokerface82

9 months 1 week ago

Yeah

Bully's are dark lol thank you, I appreciate the comment

Rula

Rula

9 months ago

Hello Jokerface

I like how you take this from the bully's pov. rather than from the ones been bullied.
I thought the language, though a bit violent and dark, very much suitable.
Thank you for sharing.