Don’t hold me
But I want you close
Don’t look at me
Just gaze at my approach
Don’t wait for me
Look for me
Unhand me
Grab me
You see it’s hard for me to trust
It’s not you it’s me
Please don’t give up on me
Give in to me
I want to breathe
But it’s uncomfortable for me
Bare with me not against me
Love me
But don’t fall to deep
I know it’s hard to understand what I ask thee
It’s only hard because you fail to innerstand me

I stand upon the cliff Confusion
and ponder whether I should leap.
Does Clarity have any purpose
or am I lying to myself again?

The Manic in me rears its head
and I produce in fits and starts,
but soon depression will be all
and I will seek Confusion in the drink.

Random patterns dot the duff
with sun and shade this autumn morn.
This new area is steep and rough.
Stay or leave? My thoughts are torn.

Huge water oaks bid me proceed,
these monarchs of such middling seed,
whose leaves and mast cover the ground,
ball bearing acorns, slick leaves all around.

And this hill is not that steep,
my staff is wielded in firm grip.
last thoughts right before I slip.

On the morning walk
Birds sing, cool breezes touch me
The world is at peace

My home here will protect me
My God walks with me today

Come my children gather near
The sound of the guns is nothing to fear
We shall walk much further today
A black flag flying it’s coming our way

(Here's the edited form)

The young knight stood tall,
His heart filled with pride
for he has been chosen
to be the dragon slayer

He rode on his horse,
fully clad in steel armor,
cloaked in all grandeur.
hailed as the great warrior

When the time came for battle,
the knight cried, "Onward my steed!"
but his horse lose its mettle
and fled from the dragon, it did!

version 2 (the edited version)

If we could speak,
we'd tell
how bad it is
to smell
corpse's remnants
left down
to rot under walls
broken.

If we could listen,
we'd tell
how woeful it is
to hear
children's laughter
shelled with bombs
and in cold blood
stolen.

If we could see,
we'd tell
how many tears
and more fears
are yet to born
while innocent dreams
fallen.

I stand upon the cliff Confusion
and ponder whether I should leap.
Does Clarity have any purpose
or am I lying to myself again?

The Manic in me rears its ugly head
and I produce in fits and clumsy starts,
but soon depression will be all I know
and I will seek Confusion in the drink.

Damn the red roses
They prickle and aren’t quite true
Just know I love you

I will tell you in short lines
Things I am going to do

I was going to build you a castle
Way up there in the air so cool
But all I could do was make a ramp to you
Life just isn’t that fair to us, too much hassle

Edited
My iPad tumbled to the cement
screen cracked, fell near my car
I forgot it was sitting on my lap
I'm glad it still works as intended.

But still my peace fades
dreading has me in a daze.

My iPad now defective
I can't go on watching this cracked screen
every time I enter my password.

The damage is not that bad
I'm just mad
I can't live with this iPad.

Ha, I bought a new one
placed a bid on eBay and won
now I have a bigger one

There was an old atheist poet
who knew death and much about it
he knew not the end
or which way to bend
his life in order to show it

So he lived and loved hard
wrote what he could
courted danger and love and strife
the end has not changed
maybe sooner or closer
but he only chooses to say

fuck it.