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deleted

Sh! Close your eyes!

I'm in the process of submitting to magazines and therefore deleting some of my work. It may be back up some time later.



 

 


— Ink Dragon, Oct 13, 2007

Critiques

I

IKnowNoBox

18 years 8 months ago

I wish to print this on pajama tops

That is a complete picture,a bed time story concise! Lavender,I grew up in a house with a lavender bush right outside my window ,My sleeping problems started when I moved out of that house ,now I use lavender oils. With Surreal Pen, ...
CN

Craig Norris

17 years ago

Hiya Nina

I like this, but think you may wish to look at something, eliciting weariness, it suggests that weariness is drawn up into the persons presence, as a response, the lavender perhaps wishes to draw the weariness away. So I am thinking a really good word here might be.. Lavender fumes soothingly soliciting weariness. Equilibrium awaits you. Gives it mmm, flavours?? perhaps? Love. Craig
ID

Ink Dragon

17 years ago

Oh, Craig,

I wish I could do that, but I can't. I need a word that starts with an "e" in that line... But I'll try to find something else. Thanks, ~Nina
CN

Craig Norris

17 years ago

No Nina

it must have been my own weariness, I didn't see the leep well, but having it out there, leap has an a, so that throws up another question. Maybe I should just leap away. Love. Craig
CN

Craig Norris

17 years ago

I think so

perhaps I should have had that second helping of the soup you offered caught twice within a word trap by a somnolent acrostic I flee to faith no longer shall I dwell among the ranks of the agnostic. Craig
CN

Craig Norris

17 years ago

I have a suggestion

how about enticing? Lavender fumes soothingly entice weariness, equilibrium awaits you now that might work. Craig
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

16 years 10 months ago

Nina

I say change nothing, and let them all sleep on it so that clarity can come. Yes, lavender is very soothing and at times induce sleep, just ask any Japanese, you will find it in there beautiful gardens. they use it to bring tranquility. Great job, your words achieved their purpose! Eddie
ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 10 months ago

Oh, Eddie,

you didn't fall asleep reading them, did you? ;) Yes, lavender can work small miracles for insomniacs. Yours, ~Nina

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