your choice

Your eyes so jet so Obsidian.
Cast me well beyond this maze
on course set now for outer rim,
past where tamed infinity begins.

Beyond this gravitational embrace
lost to time thought and place,
beyond velvet cloaked desire
beyond all cold, beyond the fire.

To enfold me there within the arms
of any passing ghost stars charms,
or lay me out upon the disc
of Nebula or proton mist.

Fly orbit 'tween Magellanic clouds,
or speed me, comet cloaked and proud,
to turn me at the zenith of my run
and plot for Triton, Janus, Io, Sun.

What be your choice my Queen?
a life of love, a life of dreams?

— Craig Norris, Apr 23, 2009

About the Author

Country/Region: AUS

Critiques

orgami

17 years 1 month ago

Love the poetry quests

We write so similar in fashioned visions there is another Love this poem crafted so clever the words meshed in pinned design speechless now no more yet I will come later again and add

Craig Norris

17 years 1 month ago

there is another

Search your feelings Luke, you know it's true, you've always known. Thanks for the comments, I guess it's just me but I do like a bit of form and rhyme seems to fit with it. Am appreciating more and more less structured free flowing verse, enjoyed the blue wash heaps. craigAKACHUCKNorris

Proprietress o…

17 years 1 month ago

hey craig, great poem, good rhymes, awesome flow.

I'm also really liking the theme and there are more than one parts that could be highlighted. one of them, to me, is beyond velvet cloaked desire beyond all cold, beyond the fire really melodious, poetic... the rhymes are consistant except for the first two lines. is that intentional? your Proprietress

Craig Norris

17 years 1 month ago

Proprietress

Thanks heaps, glad you enjoyed. It's a bit of thing with me sometimes, I can keep working on my poems for a while, the first two lines I'm still not 100% on, I like the content and am not too precious about the rhyme. For me it works if the pacing or spacing is done right, so I'm thinking what helps might be a fullstop at the end of the first line, then when the second and third are read through together, its good, well for me it's good. Thanks for bringing me back to it. Cheers Craig

Proprietress o…

17 years 1 month ago

ahhh,

see what you mean! thanks for the explanation.

Seren

17 years 1 month ago

This is a great write I

This is a great write I loved it ... Needs a little tweaking but i look forward to reading your updates Love and Light JayC :)

Craig Norris

17 years 1 month ago

Tweaked it is

Thanks for your comments JayC, appreciate it and glad you enjoyed. CraigAKACHUCKNorris

faerybeki

17 years 1 month ago

The force is strong in you

The force is strong in you Craig ;) loved this one, such a wonderful journey from a look in the eyes. If it's a choice this faery would like both love and dreams, infact she already has both. much love b x

Craig Norris

17 years 1 month ago

May the force be with you

I think it runs strong in your family. Thanks Beki, happy you came I am. Cheers Craig

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

Anyway, another 5 from me for this, it's very lovely

I love this one & I nearly keeled over when I read it, I had just written a batch around the same theme, many o the same terms even (a friend gave me a beautiful book on what he described as "what lies beyond the clouds" ie astronomy, I think it really made an impression, much of my writing for days eatured these celestial elements)... Ah, but now I feel I can't post them, you have beat me to it, what a bizarre fluke I thought!!! You would probably love the book Craig (it was a thank you prezzy from someone who did a course I'd suggested), it would probably make you write a ton of poems also. Heh, not that you don't. Anyway, another 5 from me for this, it's very lovely. Anni ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."

Proprietress o…

17 years ago