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Cartoon clouds drifting

Cartoon clouds drifting
in a Homer Simpson sky,
reality lies bleeding
and I don't know why.

The moon is tenuous, it's on a kite string
there's an actor out on stage,
the director's lost the cue cards
and the lines begin to fray.

Pain has left the building
it's roaming loose upon the street,
there's an empty leering feeling
as though menace wants to eat.

Charlie's in deep trouble
he went fishing without bait,
offering his heart to Nancy,
she threw it straight back in his face.

She left him lying in his rupture
like a wounded writhing snake,
Charlie's in deep trouble,
there's not much more that he can take.

He rides on sorrow, it's a surfboard,
plunges screaming down each wave,
slicing vitriol with resentment
peeling complacency away.

He is gaunt, he is empty,
rank winds blow within the space
that's left of where his heart was,
fresh wounds hanging from his face.
— Craig Norris, May 30, 2009

About the Author

Country/Region: AUS

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Critiques

BL

Bert Lamrick

17 years ago

This is a suspenseful read

I like it. I can even see you expanding on this into a short story format. Maybe more. Think about it. It's very good. Your Friend, Rick Lambert (Bert Lamrick)
CN

Craig Norris

17 years ago

thanks Rick

These writes are a kind of simple light relief for me in a strange way, I know they don't conform to much of what is put out on this site, and they might seem frivolous(in their rhyme and structure) But I do believe that poetry must enjoy itself, laugh and be refreshed, and not be too precious. Craig
BL

Bert Lamrick

17 years ago

By the way,

I owe you these. Rick
ID

Ink Dragon

17 years ago

Hi Craig,

I love the title and how you describe everything in a stream of consciousness way, also found lots of original images in there. But I wouldn't be me if I hadn't found something to criticise. Please do add an apoatrophe to "Charlies" (ll.13&19). Yours, ~Nina
CN

Craig Norris

17 years ago

Hi Nina

You put a smile on my face and I shall tend to Charlie's Love. Craig
MV

Miss Vivian

17 years ago

Amazing Craig!! But that is

Amazing Craig!! But that is you really....I will write more - I did want to deliver your stars though.

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