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CN
Craig Norris
Jun 01, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

ragged wedding hall

Randomly acted,
these flowers of prescience
I handed you,
a dried bouquet on your wedding day.

You groomed his lonely alter
with a keening wind.

Pulled the drainplug on his dreams,
as your accomplice in this farce
took you inverted,
draped your arse across his shoulder
trophied
as some caveman spectacle,
leaving this
a ragged wedding hall.

Marooned, marked out,
this is a desert,
a carpark to your indifference,
driving, sailing in a fast ship,
you left us
listening to
the mournful clanging of his heart start.
— Craig Norris, Jun 01, 2009

About the Author

Country/Region: AUS

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Critiques

Bonitaj

Bonitaj

17 years ago

Hi Craig! Damn! This is

Hi Craig! Damn! This is good! Loved to see this level of cynicism so well attired in words! "you groomed his lonely alter (is that "EGO"? or meant to be ALTAR?)with a keening wind" (isn't that a sailing term?) Liked the title as a personification of the 'man'too? second last verse is my absolute best! Lot of the good ol' Aussie coming out in you there - with the colloquial use of "arse"which you didn't even attempt to rhyme with Farce! Brilliant! Keep up the good work Bonitaj
CN

Craig Norris

17 years ago

thanks Bonitaj

yes she groomed his lonely alter on his wedding day, left him there, swept away by another lover. your comments are much appreciated, thanks again. Craig
B

bjp

17 years ago

Dear Craig,

This is a poem of a curious mind. What lovely inversions. Olya and I experiment almost every day and this freedom produces wonders. It is harder on one's own. But you have the knack. Marooned, marked out, this is a desert, a carpark to your indifference... These are the ladder rungs you are deftly climbing. affectionate regards, Brian
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

17 years ago

RAGGED WEDDING HALL

Hey Craig! How 'bout we name this "Ragged Weeding Hall"? after a typo I nearly made! (i.e. weeding out the dregs?) :) But seriously, just checking again - isn't this somewhat autobiographical? Life is Art, Art is Life stuff? Cheers Bonitaj
CN

Craig Norris

17 years ago

I was just a spectator

but when I handed her the flowers the firing of nueral pathways made me wonder re. keening wind, not necessarily nautical, but keen, keening, biting, penetrating, sharp edged. A keen is an Irish funeral song, a keener a professional mourner at Irish funerals. So now you know as much as I do except for our appreciation of said facts. Cheers. Craig
CN

Craig Norris

17 years ago

thank you Blanka

a small group of us sat with the dejected and quite desolated would be groom, for many hours into the night, slowly drinking, enough to lay an elephant to sleep I think, and in that time I can remember him sitting quiet and still, his head bowed in emptiness. Love. Craig

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