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IRiz
IRiz
Feb 13, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the workshop:

Sunku: beyond rhyme and rhythm, search for new structures in short form

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禅

simple 
peaceful
living within

focused
unwordly
moving upstream 

steady
solitude
please not again

About This Poem

Last Few Words: 禅 means zen, and also simple, peaceful, unwordly

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Washington DC, USA

Favorite Poets: Matsuo Bashō, Sylvia Plath, Charles Bukowski, TS Eliot, William Carlos Williams, Joseph Brodsky, Boris Pasternak, DH Lawrence, Robert Frost

More from this author

Comments

R

raj

7 years 4 months ago

Great poem and example of

Great poem and example of making the reader read between the lines without any disconnect between the three stanzas of this Sunku...a good lesson for me....

Regards...

S

scribbler

7 years 4 months ago

Hmmm....Hmmm.....

Without the title it would be difficult to discern the meaning of this poem. Good thing you put what the Japanese symbol means. This one also displays the flexibility of syllable count allowable in this poem...............stan

IRiz

IRiz

7 years 4 months ago

Think about not precise

Think about not precise meaning of words but associated memories and feelings then you will guess what is it about

IRiz

IRiz

7 years 4 months ago

Yep that is me,

Yep that is me,
Often too late
Seldom in time
A Quine of repeats,
A killer of rhymes.

weirdelf

weirdelf

7 years ago

That last line really makes it!

I've just been re-reading "Sophie's World", I think I told you, and this reminds me of the vast gulf between the cultural/social/ spiritual mileux of our ancient values based in polytheism and classical Greek rationalism, which led to the Scientific method and that vile, goat-fucking Ibrahamic tradition (Chritianity, Islam and judaism) that all but replaced it.

We move upstream, against the current, never crossing the same river twice and those mad Arabs told us there was one god and he fucked up our creation so drowned us all once then sent his son to die for our sins (yes, the bastard believes in human sacrifice).

Perhaps I'm reading too much into this but

'please not again'