Please count me in IRiz and Weirdelf

Regards...

Good examples IRiz but i would like to bring to your attention some non conformance in some lines with respect to prescribed syllable count. Of course correct me if I am wring:-

Poem 1
clouds (to me its 1 syllable whereas should be 2 being Line 1)
replaced (is 2 syllables whereas should be 3 being line 2)
why my troubles come (if troubles is 2 syllables then this becomes a 5 syllable line instead of 4)

Poem 2
raise their hopes (is 3 syllables instead of 4 being line3)

Poem3
stopped seeing people (is 5 syllable instead of 4 being line 3)

of course the apparent non conformance in the linescan be fixed using alternates

i will try my hand at posting a Sunku

regards..

Sunku
a new form
is challenging

Haiku
prepared me
as a grounding

Poems
like models
getting slimmer?

Please share your opinion and guide me

Regards...

Shadow
may follow
or precede me

Is it
friend or foe
i do not know

May be
it's someone
to trust utmost

inviting comments from workshop organizers to know a) if I am on the right track or b) areas for improvement/needful corrections

is a title expected for such poems in Sunku Format?

Is it to be treated as structured Eastern? If so why, especially when those who have conceived this form are not eastern?

How to get this form accepted / accredited across the poetic forum/s?

I hope I am not asking too many questions?

Noted that it is to be categorized as a form of free form. Let's see what this workshop leads to crystallizing such definitions further when more join the work shop / pond. At the moment I seem to be the only tadpole in the FrogPond :)

Cheers!

Please go through other workshops listed here. I think you need to list / register names of Participants who would like to join this workshop.

Count me in if you will.

Scattered
are the thoughts
like spilled pop corn

Lookalikes
hard to pick
one over other

My muse
feasts on them
to feed the voids

I have taken the liberty to invite "Barbara Writes" to join this work shop. With her experience in shorter form of poetry I believe she would be able to add value to this work shop even as a Moderator. I have sent her the invite via PM

I was referred here. Great work shop sign me up.

It’s hard
In my life
Can’t stand the pain.

2 3 4 stanza. Did I get it. I read the syllabus but I miss important details most times due to my eyes and illness. Look to be a fun workshop. SunKu another jewel for my poetry portfolio. I seen it in my haiku Senyru tanka and Renga research for my collaboration poetry workshop.

Do not post your poems on this thread, post as you normally would post a poem except near the bottom is a 'workshop' box, click on the the dropdown and choose 'Sunku: beyond rhyme and rhythm, search for new structures in short form'.
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT OTHERWISE EACH PERSON'S CONTRIBUTION DOES NOT RECEIVE ADEQUATE ATTENTION AND THIS THREAD BECOMES LONG AND CONFUSING.
Please tell me if you have a problem with this.

I have been doing this for ten years and forgot to explain the importance of posting poems linked to the workshop instead of posting them in the workshop.

Seen some great work so far and think this might be the best workshop in a while.
Write to write inbetween what you write.

.

beyond
equilibrium
concentration

poor at
counting
syllables

will pick
up soonly
course surely

In this shop are we posting only series ? also does this form allow titles?

To summarize

1. Participants to post their Sunku not in this workshop stream but independently as they would nrmally do to submit their poems
2. Participants to select the workshop from the drop down menu in "Workshop" which is below "contest" before submission
3. The poems may or may not have a title. I suggest one should mention [Sunku Workshop] in the title field
4. Three stanza compose a complete sunku.
5. To quote Weirdelf "My personal view of this workshop is how to say what is in between the lines"

I have already uploaded my poem based on the above.

I'll see if I can come up with something this evening

All poems linked to this workshop can be viewed through the link at top right of this page under the title--
Most recent poems
>> View all poems submitted to this workshop
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/view/22336

sorry Jess I couldnt find the link you mentioned..would be nice to see all poems submitted to this work shop in one place....I wasn't aware of this...

regards...

https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/view/22336
>> View all poems submitted to this workshop (look to the top right of this page)
or on the Neopoet homepage
Plunge Pool: Sunku: beyond rhyme and rhythm, search for new structures in short form
(submissions)
(click on submissions)

There are 3 tested ways to find all works submitted to this workshop.

I guess this could be called unstated or implied messaging. "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood". Yellow wood say a whole lot more than just those two words. It says the season is autumn and also says the woods are likely poplar, aspen and sweet gum with no evergreens.It also implies that it's harvest time and the holiday season.
Why did I bring this up? I think in any compressed form of poetry trying to condense as many images/emotions/ ect. is very important because there are so few words to work with........just my two cents

that be wot be ment
[chuckles] I can't resist taking the piss out of you as a pastoralist writer.

It is heartwarming to realize that by being part of this on going Workshop we are contributing in some way to aid IRiz in fine tuning the parameters of the innovative form of "Sunku" which is her brainchild, which over a period of time would potentially become a milestone in the annals of Poetry. Let's continue to contribute our thoughts and poems as best as we can... to be part of this endeavor.

Regards...

I'm still confused as how to get in on the fun here....how do I sign up?

I am short of time here but will return to home next week, but just add me when you have time.
Here's a passing thought:-

I cry
Not for you
Just the memory

Droplets
Flowing free
I turn mirrors

Hidden
Inside of me
A truth of love

Have a lovely week, Yours Ian. x

Is rhyme forbidden in this form?

Ultimately the challenge would be to define what would constitute conformance to be a Sunku. Which body / forum would finally accept / accredit and declare "Sunku" as an official form of poetry? Is there such an authority? Just curious...

Regards..

Deleted

before the workshop started but this is all part of a process to get the form accredited at The journal Frogpond, an official serial publication of the Haiku Society of America.
http://www.hsa-haiku.org/frogpond/aboutfrogpond.html

on my first attempt.

Is this any close to what is supposed to be submitted? If yes... please let me in

let the meds.
heal
your pain

rain
to wipe out
the dust

I'll only
trust
the world
of words.

Just trying to come back to a world that I've always loved.

i'll think of another example

May be it's time for a mid term review by the Workshop Leaders and participants on the following:-

a) Can poetic themes/thoughts expressed in this innovative short form of poetry "Sunku"- my personal opinion is Yes
b) After reviewing a pretty good number of poem submission adhering to the Form, are the WS Leaders satisfied with the objective or do they feel there is more room for improvement (if so in which areas?)
c) Are modifications to the original form features envisaged or not necessary
d) Are there any time lines before taking all steps to get this form approved / accredited from whatever body is empowered to do it?
e) In short how near or far are we with respect to the accomplished goal/s of this WS

I believe our friend IRiz is familiar with the process and documentary requirements to submit an application to the concerned Accreditation Body to accredit Sunku. I am sure she would welcome any help / assistance . inputs from learned participants like Ian in this endeavor.

I hope I am not over bearing in calling for the mid term review. Intention is purely for success of the endeavor.

https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/i-live-sunku

Since one of the objectives (if i have understood it right) is to express in short form, is it ok if the syllable count is less than 2-3-4 in lines 1-2-3 of a stanza? Will appreciate your revert

May I join

Welcome to the Workshop Carrie and Hommies...add your flavor for others to savor and learn new culinary skills and recipes with words....

Sorry I was unable to attend this workshop (school crunch time from now 'til May!!!), but I wanted to stop in and say I see all the work going into it and all the engagement from members and I think it's great. I don't know if there has ever been this many submissions to a workshop! Thanks so much for this fantastic idea, IRiz.

Keep up the great work everyone!
Kels

https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/surviving-sunku

This is proving to be a very effective form for the task I often set myself- humour with serious intent.

Folks

Should a Sunku have a title? What are the pros and cons? Inviting shout also from the WS Leaders

Announcement of closing of workshop could have been with some concluding remarks by Workshop Leader/s if this workshop was useful in getting enough take aways to achieve the end objective of getting this form "Sunku" formally accredited. If so it would give participants joy to know that besides learning they also in a small way contribute to the endeavor. Hopefully we will be informed when Sunku is formally accredited as a form of poetry

Best wishes....

I think our responses to message of IRiz about closing workshop were pinned simultaneously. I have read it now.

Thanks..

Remember the most important aspect of Neopoet-
"critique don't comment".
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

If you have posted to this workshop be sure to give feedback to others.
Bottom line is pragmatic. When you give feedback people notice and will give more feedback to you.
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/view/22336

This would run a little longer as I have felt this to be a beneficial workshop and have enjoyed it

with a bit of help from my friends.

This has become bigger than IRiz and accreditation for Sunku, it has proved itself already to be a challenging and powerful new form.

Mostly importantly at this stage, along with new works, which should still be posted to the workshop, brave critique on everything posted to the workshop
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/view/22336
and comments and discussion on the Sunku form at IRiz's blog
https://www.neopoet.com/iriz/blog/mon-2018-02-19-1013

Sent to stream!!

Check 'em out.
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/view/22336

3 stanzas, each of 2/3/4 syllables per line.

Hello Wierdelf and IRiz
I'd love to try...
I'll pop it up in the stream.
Cheers

Of my sunku was right on

Sunku was like opening a new window. For me participating in Sunku workshop was like "back to school" feeling. Since English is not my mother tongue adaptation to this new form is fun as well as a new challenge. I hope this workshop has also been useful to you in your endeavor to make Sunku a widely acceptable form of poetry. My very best wishes for you to succeed every step of the way.

Regards and thanks..
.....................

thank you so much for your efforts, your commitment and your new form.

I'd like to remind everyone that even when a workshop is concluded you can still post to it and critique. I've seen valuable contributions and feedback to workshop years after they ended.

(ps 'onya' = Aussie for 'good on you')