Death's Kiss

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively utilizes vivid imagery and metaphor to convey a sense of despair and longing for release. The use of phrases such as "razor's edge," "drowning in blood soaked regrets," and "barbed wire and roses" paint a stark, visceral picture of the speaker's emotional state. This helps to engage the reader and evoke a strong emotional response.

However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm and meter. The varying line lengths and syllable counts can disrupt the flow of the poem and make it more difficult for the reader to follow. By establishing a more consistent rhythm, the poem could become more musical and pleasing to the ear.

The theme of the poem is clear and well developed, but the speaker's relationship to the "you" in the poem could be further explored. The reader is left with questions such as: Who is this person? What did they do to the speaker? How did they contribute to the speaker's current state? Providing more context could make the speaker's emotions and experiences more relatable to the reader.

Lastly, the final stanza could be reworked to provide a stronger conclusion. The current ending feels somewhat abrupt and does not fully resolve the tension built up in the previous stanzas. By extending the final stanza or adding another, the poem could provide a more satisfying resolution and leave a stronger impression on the reader.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Talk about laying your heart on the table, this is honest, vulnerable and beautiful. I love most especially the last line, naked but unashamed. I have a similar poem I'd love for you to take a look at. I'll post it soon.

ow... this poem is saturated with pain. pain so palpable as to give birth to a cleansing of your soul. I feel new depths of you in the honesty of your words! Keep on growing in your understanding of yourself and give us your poetry, please...

*hugs, Cat xxx

Hello, Carrie,
"Barbed wire and roses, laid at my feet..." Such a fantastic line and image. Brutal and soft - truly human.
Thank you!
L

Hi Carrie,
I love the format of this poem and think this is one I may try in the future? Thank you for the example.
The subject matter is like others have said it has raw and visceral elements that reflect the poets emotions.

In the first stanza, should line 1 become line 2 to maintain the format?

Drowning in blood soaked regrets,
Razor's edge, cuts deep.

Wonderful poem filled with your essence. Ruby :) xx

As sweet as any...
I have the idea, that barbed wire and roses are laid at your feet by two different sources.
Of course, I may be reading my own observations and thoughts, as I am closer to the source than most.
At any rate, I feel the angst and the emotional turmoil. ~ Geez.
.

when one come around late the praise has already been given. So I am left with naught but a few suggestions:
line 8 try was it impossible for you to be kind? line9 try deleting "cruel". Well that's all I have lol. As to content I hope this poem doesn't contain too much truth

Another incredible writing. It hurts to see others in so much pain. If I might offer a suggestion as to this feeling you're experiencing . Try washing dishes in warm soapy water to distract you from the agony.I hope to read more soon. - John