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R
raj
Feb 26, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the workshop:

Sunku: beyond rhyme and rhythm, search for new structures in short form

(Read More...)

Indelible [Sunku WS]

Pencil
with an
eraser tip

Express
Emote
Eliminate

Echoes
remain
indelible
................

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

More from this author

Comments

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

7 years 4 months ago

Good one raj

Certainly not too revealing. Indelible
I see the purpose of the pencil and it eraser vaguely but, potently expressed in the KEY words you chose. This sunku makes your minds eye work overtime to capture the three themes simultaneously. The key words express and emote depicts the purpose of pencil; eliminate depicts the eraser and echoes depicts indelible.

R

raj

7 years 4 months ago

Thanks Barbara

for your time read and decode the Sunku pretty well. The third stanza may be still tickling your mind's eye...i liked your "mind's eye"

.....

R

raj

7 years 4 months ago

Oh common! who will believe

Oh common! who will believe you cannot express emotions well? Barbara you have the gift and skill to do it which you have demonstrated through so many poems...

Warm regards...

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

7 years 3 months ago

Lol

I express crazy well because People tend to misunderstand my Intention when I express my emotions. But I can write it well tho out of form lol.

I just didn’t get the emotions the way you expressed it in the poem. Like I said your poem was perfectly vague and I obviously after 10 years on here don’t get what the writer is always trying to convey. I can only can express what I see. I did that but as usual I’m off but I’m still right because it’s what I see. I now see what you are portraying which is also right...

lonlyhrtsclub13

lonlyhrtsclub13

7 years 4 months ago

The pencil

A virtually silent yet powerful tool. I believe the message of this Sunku depicts how we express our emotions, eliminate them thru using the pencil but the echo of those emotions remain. Good write, makes the reader think.

R

raj

7 years 4 months ago

Thanks Carrie

for the read....your comment is in sync with the theme...good to know it made you think to read the thought expressed between the lines..
....