Cliches and their use

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Intrepid (Cliché Workshop poem rewrite)

intrepid

damn you charlie brown,
tiny tim and sam hall!

elucidating the antiquated means of resistance
in the persistence of playing one-up-man-ship
in the ground control (hello Major Tom!)
of who's minding the store,
but then I never knew you to be a back-stabber
or an attention-grabber playing
the-one-who-dies-with-the-most-toys-wins hands down
hand me a crown, I'm king of the hill
and don't you just love my insistence
in the preoccupation of the daily rationing of relationship
to cause and effect,
dredging out the scope of home-sweet-home
dragging its tailbone,

throw me one will ya?

to knock the cover off the ball,
follow the bounce

sorry,
did I do that?

(spoken in Urkel)

http://new.neopoet.com/node/4730

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Urkel: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Urkel Ok, so I substituted some clichés for other ones, but trust me no clichés were harmed in the process of writing this poem.

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Ohio, USA

Favorite Poets: Bokonon: “Let your life be the poem you write”. , I'm still writing.....

Comments

lou

14 years ago

Anna

Well you left a cliche in,'knock the cover off the ball,'and added two new ones,' damn you charlie brown,' and 'the ground control (hello Major Tom)',' even if they are slightly mis-quoted. Apart from that a pretty good effort.

Lou

Kailashana2

14 years ago

Indeed I did, Lou; however

Indeed I did, Lou; however perhaps I created a new one with *follow the bounce* (which is why I left it in). Besides , explanations was in the remarks.

Sometimes one can't help but use a cliche in a poem. many of mine are now standard and customary on the net. ;-)

lou

14 years ago

Anna

Yes i read your explanation, but the idea was to avoid using cliches, and that is why i mentioned them.

Lou

Kailashana2

14 years ago

Well, I flunked the exercise

Well, I flunked the exercise then, because I'd rather have a fun poem then *follow directions*.

I'm bad and proud of it. (That's two cliches, right?) I think the gist of all these workshops is two things we need to recognize: that humans will always have rules of engagement and rules to follow even in an *idea of workshop*. The exercise of living is two-fold imo, to come into our own and to know the rules, when to break them and when not to.

Thanks for the dialogue, Lou.