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Sparrow
Sparrow
Feb 26, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the workshop:

Sunku: beyond rhyme and rhythm, search for new structures in short form

(Read More...)

Its an Age thing (Sunku)

I am
Late next month
Seventy six

My thoughts
Clouded some
What, who, or when.

I did
Please tell me
Things I have done

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Irene, was on about Birthdays some place. While the cats away the mice will play lol Have a great day Ya'all..

Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UK, GBR

Favorite Poets: Wordsworth, and most I have read., This month My pic is a modern painting of a Sparrow that I have decoupaged, The artist was not mentioned but many thanks to the one that made the original..

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Comments

IRiz

IRiz

7 years 4 months ago

The one

The one
Who was born
In early spring

The one
Who does not
Remember a thing

Is still
My dear
Poet friend

Sparrow

Sparrow

7 years 4 months ago

Irene

As Jess said the silly bulls were not good, well that's Bulls for you lol.
You go sort your studies out, Jess said he would look after the workshop for you.
See you in a couple of weeks,
Take care
Yours Ian.x

Sparrow

Sparrow

7 years 4 months ago

Jess

will sort out the Bovine mistakes, it was getting late and this ole guy needs more sleep.
Thanks for your read and comment they mean a lot,
Yours Ian..

weirdelf

weirdelf

7 years 3 months ago

willful ignorance.

You even managed to build in an insult. You know what syllables are. You are no better than Crud.
Fuck off.

V

valene

7 years 3 months ago

my apologies Sparrow

my review was not the least insulting as the little man suggests.
i thought it well thought, and my reference to the syllable count was my ignorance of the sunku form. i'm well aware of what a syllable is. far more than some know what manners are, it would appear.

Best wishes

val x