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Feb 22, 2018
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This poem is part of the workshop:
Sunku: beyond rhyme and rhythm, search for new structures in short form
A Journey (into Sunku)
I move
As the wind
I seek you there
A place
We both know
For us to share.
Hold me
As you dream
I will be there..
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Love this way of writing..
Style/Type: Structured: Eastern
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
IRiz
7 years 4 months ago
Thank you for your lovely poem
I like it.
May i suggest to try to add more content, perhaps some images that would define the place a little more?
The poems feels like wanders of a ghost in love.
Is it a breeze or a stormy overwhelming gale?
IRiz
7 years 4 months ago
Very good comment. I feel we
Very good comment. I feel we are on the same page.
Notice that you can select an option to mark your comment as a workshop critic. Please do it for me. I want your comments be more noticeable.