Sunku: beyond rhyme and rhythm, search for new structures in short form

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only

winter
nothing left
from my garden

only
it is not
how I see it

wet stones
remember
green abundance

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Washington DC, USA

Favorite Poets: Matsuo Bashō, Sylvia Plath, Charles Bukowski, TS Eliot, William Carlos Williams, Joseph Brodsky, Boris Pasternak, DH Lawrence, Robert Frost

Comments

raj

7 years 4 months ago

What a coincidence. Just now

What a coincidence. Just now i posted a Sunku based on Winter making way to summer. Yours is more crisp with all aesthetics.

IRiz

7 years 4 months ago

Thank you, we do often think

Thank you, we do often think alike.

Rula

7 years 4 months ago

Now this strikes me as the epitome

of what you seemed to wish to achieve with the sunku form,
Wistful and elegant.

IRiz

7 years ago

Hi Jess!
What a great way for me to start my morning.
Thank you for your comment.
When I wrote the words the little plot of land on a steep hill behind my house was a bare red clay with a few sticks and twigs. I placed a few rocks here and there in the idea of Zen garden.
I watched the drops of rain water splashing and jumping off of them and wrote this poem.
Now it is completely green almost foaming.
Deers leave hoof prints so I know they visit, but the plants are growing so fast that I can't see what deer damaged.
I also saw a snake, chipmunks, blue Jeys, red Cardinals and a bunch of dragonflies.
Have a good night!!!