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Feb 24, 2018
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This poem is part of the workshop:
Sunku: beyond rhyme and rhythm, search for new structures in short form
SunKu 13 Workshop
Springtime
I hear tones
of nature speak
grass blades
earth's insects
animal life
awoke
from their
winter slumber
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
raj
7 years 4 months ago
I liked this and created for
I liked this and created for me the sounds of Spring. Since you hear sounds from multiple sources simultaneously, please see if "buzz" would be a good replacement to read as
Springtime
I hear buzz
of nature speak
make change only if you find it suitable
hugs...
Barbara Writes
7 years 4 months ago
Sounds good
Too me
lonlyhrtsclub13
7 years 4 months ago
Simple
Yet beautiful. Especially since I have spring fever right now. Been a long dream winter. I am ready for spring sounds and sighs. Well written
IRiz
7 years 4 months ago
Nice poem!
Nice poem!
Buzz is a summer thing to me,
It alliterates with earth and blades.
Tones enhances the word awoke.
Barbara Writes
7 years 4 months ago
Thanks IRiz
Glad to have your perspective
raj
7 years 4 months ago
Hi Barbara
Please ignore my suggestion and revert to the one from our learned friend. In retrospect I now feel foolish for making suggestions...
Barbara Writes
7 years 4 months ago
Hi raj
I appreciate your suggestion. I have a sunku just for you my friend. Be on the lookout. It’ll have the word buzz in it. Smiles
weirdelf
7 years 4 months ago
Lovely!
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1UUadgMBfIN
Barbara Writes
7 years 3 months ago
Thanks
Glad you like it