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lou
lou
Jul 01, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the workshop:

Cliches and their use

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Unholy Scream - Cliches Workshop Poem

An unholy scream punctures the silent landscape
pierces the gun metal grey,
against the cruel winter’s sky.

Darkest before the dawn
as agony abuses the air,
jerking in spasm.

Feathers wrenched from a muscular frame,
a pair of sleek Ravens wings , of vast dimension.
Armageddon’s warning.

Perversion and amorality his clarion call,
Innocence died.
On this ashen night.

Banished from heaven,
discarded upon the sodden earth.
Abandoned since birth.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: The cliche Darkest before the dawn, was the inspiration for this poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: West London, GBR

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda , Jack Kerouac, Alan Ginsberg, D.H Lawrence, Jim Morrison's lyrics,

More from this author

Comments

Hooded Stranger

Hooded Stranger

14 years ago

Ian

stop picking on me!...you know I am going to win, no matter how hard you try to knock me!

That said, this is an awesome poem and does make mine look somewhat half baked!

LOL!

HS

lou

lou

14 years ago

Ian

Thanks, lol

lou

lou

lou

14 years ago

Cat

Thank you Cat, i'm glad that you like it.

Lou

Hooded Stranger

Hooded Stranger

14 years ago

Bloody hell!

Lou,

this could be your best poem to date.

I couldn't choose a fav stanza, I liked them all and each stood proudly on its own and together made a real quality piece.

I liked the structure of very long lines and then short ones...so I guess it is the lack of structure I like!!

I'll come back when i have a little time and see if anything needs a tweak, but for now, good job indeed!

HS

lou

lou

14 years ago

Dan

I am really pleased that you liked it so much. It's good to be in my comfort zone, it's always best to have the freedom to express things in your own style, much easier.

Cheers

Lou

lou

lou

14 years ago

Ian

I might fall off the podium, maybe I'll just be your look out, keep my Eagle eye out LOL !!!

Lou

lou

lou

14 years ago

Jayne

Thank you so much. Yes died will probabley sound better.

love lou