In the land of the Bong did dwell a pong
Wafting on gentle breezes,
As people cried and held their nose:
"What is it? Oh tell us pleases".

But the pong just smiled and drifted on
Over hills and rivers and ponds,
Through townships and trees
Folks fell to their knees
As the pong just floated on.

In the dark times, I accept the pain.
Pain, that strikes deep into the heart.
Heart of my life, comfort me,
Me, the one who lives for you.
You, for me...

The Hammer rose, on anvil crashed,
Sparks flew and embers glowed
As diamonds in a coal black sky
While the farrier sweated and bowed.

He laboured long, all through the day,
By night his music rang,
As his anvil crashed from the hammers blow
So his harp, soft, mellow sang.

One night so cold he sat and played
When close from out his hut
A wailing came, discordant, loud
As wild beast on the rut.

What is this passion that runs so deep?
Nothing I have felt before,
I try so hard to treat her right
In truth I’d use her as a whore.

To bind her arms and throw her down,
To rip the bodice from her breast,
Bite her, squeeze her, make her moan,
Make her beg for rest.

Roll her on her belly smooth.
Raise her buttocks high,
Stroke them, slap them peaches pink.
Till tears run from her eyes.

I was hanging out at Joe's
thought I'd grab myself a beer.
When I heard the ruckus.
I thought, How'd she find me here?

I wasn't going to stay too long,
I just wanted to relax.
Have a beer with my mates,
but here comes that battle-axe.

I didn't have one swallow,
it was just a little sip.
There was barely any evidence,
naught but foam upon my lip.

She screamed obscenities
like a preacher cursing lies,
rough language from her mouth,
there was fire in her eyes.

The shadows of the night
Much deeper than the dark,
They make a silent sound,
Passing by, like lonely sharks.

The goblins and the spirits
Of all who've gone before,
Come to see the new souls,
That, and something more.

Killer's party is "to die for"
It's all that, and quite the fete.
Friendships are renewed,
and there's always folks to meet.

In darkness he lies
Blankets up to his chin,
Eyes stare into blackness
Would the monsters rush in?

Tap tap on the window,
Scritch scratch, rustle rustle;
Just a branch from a tree
Scrapes the pane, tenses muscle.

From its hide behind clouds
A bright moon appears,
Casts shadows on curtains
To build up his fears.

Nerves stretch as a fiddle
Taut for the bow,
Buries deeper 'neath blankets
Whimpers loud, fast and low.

"Oh! woe is me" the phantom wailed
As through ghostly halls his head he trailed:
"Oh! woe, Oh! woe, thrice woe again,
Eternally walking these halls of pain.
These walls wherein I met my doom
Hacked down in prime as flower in bloom.
You ask what crime deserves such fate
I'll tell a tale sad to relate.

On Hawaiian shores forever,
she dances for us all.
Her graceful moves in life,
pick us up, when we fall.

Now, the balloons are carried
to distant, far off shore,
and she is no longer with us,
I'll hold her hand no more.

Mother, dance your best,
for us up in the sky.
I saw your love for all,
there's teardrops in my eyes.

Somewhere over that rainbow
bluebirds will surely fly.
The joy that she gave to us,
Mom's love will never die.

There's a word in the English language,
This word sounds much like duck,
I certainly won't say it here
It may bring me bad luck,

This word I often use it,
As my wife is prone to do,
It is so versatile
Some examples now for you.

Remember General Custer
in 1876?:
"Look at those ducking Indians",
As they rode from out the sticks.

And the genius Albert Einstein
With his relativity,
Proclaimed it out to all the world:
"Surely any ducker can see".