GOODBYE 2012 (31/12/12 @15.00)

This interminable, lousy, day is sucking its last breath
When it finally strikes twelve, my clock is done.
Another year, Dear God, another; filled with storms and death.
"TICK_TOCK,"; yet one more mother lost a son.

I tightly shut my eyes and squeeze my hands on ears and mouth
But any way to save some, I don't know
The Northern gales, fringed with my tears, are tearing at my house.
I find exhausted Goldfinch in the snow .

COME BACK HOME!

Moment you made me, your love destination
I knew heaven had lost an angel for my sake
Nothing I dread like missing and losing you.

Waking up and knowing
You are not by me hurts like
A million arrows to my soul
Yes! I did hurt you with one
But now! I bleed from too many
Shots from your innocence
Darling save my heart!

Come see the pain in my heart
It bleeds with guilt

Sausages and chips,
sauces and dips,
thoughts of them
has me licking my lips
forgetting the hips

So I'm going to back away
as I remember
what my granny used to say
makes me smile
as I recall her sniggers
"little pickers, bigger knickers"

We stopped at Yonkers.

"I like you"
lush lips reflecting red candle
relaxed, smiled, scanned her in slight squint
as japanese, bookish look, shy, surprised by
her spectral approach, a lilac eddy of displaced air
barely there shining in bar darkness
thin fingers touching my hand
felt in four places, a nod says
come with me, knees touch pleased
disconcerting smile lioness press on palm
let this play her way back pressed kiss in the doorway
pulling button pops rapid breaths rapid stomach taut
control rivers mouths press quivers

Once, I spied a rainbow
from a field that had no name,
my smile was ever widened
and, I never felt the same.

My perception seemed to change
like a kid with a new, found toy;
although, I could not touch her hues
I still was filled with, joy!

I took her different colors
and fashioned some balloons,
then, carried them through life with me
until I heard the rainbow's tunes.

I’ll not wed a pot bellied man
so do something to your stomach
A rounded bulbous bow bursting
Looking like an expectant mom

Couldn’t see my feet, peeking down
Nor that which makes me a real man
I take a glimpse at the mirror
A round earthen pot hanging down

Wondered what I have turned into
From that which I dreaded the most
The pictures of my forebears tell
Pot-bellied Chiefs sat on the throne

My mind,
So cluttered by sex hormones,
My mind
Steeped in furtively texting married men,
My mind
Seeing lovers with fingers at the ready,
My mind
unbuckling their constant longings,
My mind
With thoughts of ex husbands in public toilets,
Gay clubs, and parks
My mind
with nightmares of unreal fidelity
My mind
didn't say hello to God

the moon fills with light
silver ribbons beam on down
Earth lowers her eyes

light flickers
and taps trickle

far ago
the summer hush
descends to the dark dank lush
of falls crush

peppermint kiss
from cellophane tryst
a cold red dusk
coating light
through mist

haunted and colored
with whats been
done

in the shadows
and statues
of whats
begun