In shadows deep, where trust once lay,
Did you whisper sweet lies, or simply stray?
With smiles so bright, yet daggers drawn,
Was our bond a spark, or a cruel con?

In laughter shared, did you feign delight?
Were you my ally, or lurking in night?
The warmth of your words, a comforting guise,
Could love be a mask, hiding treacherous lies?

"Clean as you go" is the first thing I see,
Upon entering the dreamlike state of the kitchen.
In colorful letters, pulled from the kids' toys,
Pasted on the mirror fridge I secretly overuse,
Stealing glances at myself when no one’s watching.

I laugh at my thoughtful reflection,
Memories flooding my choices of what to eat.

I recall the sunniest day of the year,
When the all-white kitchen glimmered like a disco ball—
A purchase you eagerly made at the thrift store,
Along with your red carpet-like tiles.

Ribbons and buttons,
A haberdashery smile,
Perfectly crafted, by a long mile.
Practical decorations, well packaged placements.
Hidden within the depth of our basement.

All manner of scraps,
And material pieces.
All folded neatly, without any creases.
A plethora of memories, wrapped up into one,
From a bygone era that's long gone.

And at the same time,
Just as these flashbacks appear.
I hear a noise that fills me with fear.
A scratch then a squeak, I cannot find,
What cretins lurk to blow my mind?

“Pay the toll” the old bald troll told me,
“Or else suffer the consequences if you don’t”,
So lo and behold I had gold to pay his fee,
But then I asked “what happens if I won’t?”

So the old troll strolled back and forth hotly,
His nostrils flared like he was about to strike,
“You’re a bold soul for talking to me like this…
Roll on out of here or I’ll put you on a spike”.

The news left me gasping for air,
Drowning in a hopeless despair,
In your absence, I am lost in sorrow,
Knowing you won’t see tomorrow,

Words seem impossible to find,
I only feel pain left behind,
When silence echoes, and the curtain falls,
When shadows dance, and night time calls,

In darkness, I gaze at the sky,
And I wonder where you might lie,
I hope you are there, with the stars and moon,
Will they know you were gone too soon,

No moon tonight -
I sleep alone
Dreams haunted by stars

assassinated at 10:50 PM,
on December 8, 1980
forty four years later to date
outside The Dakota Apartment,
(also known as the Dakota Apartments),
located at 1 West 72nd Street
in New York City, U.S.

Tick tock tick tock
Time goes slowly on the rocket clock
Tick tock tick tock
Am I ready or am I not?
Tick tock tick tock
Dare I mention the DMs name?
Tick tock tick tock
Surely this is Musky"s game

A plot so warped it'll leave your stomach in knots
A game so twisted- play it you'd rather not
But it's too late now to call off the nurse's troops
You entered at your own peril
Determined to know the truth

NIGHTMARES

In a sea of torment, what
hides behind screams back
at you from the other side.

Sleep deprived eyes within
shrunken cavernous hollows,
A deep dread bleeds through

bloodshot focus, blurring realities
Segmented mortalities

From the hidden depths of your
immortal soul thoughts collide
and swirl, an unthinkable hellish
glare can hardly bear ridged body
nightmare stare.

Loss

Heady
Intoxicating

When does hope and renewal
Get to feel this good

Ah,my Mama

I think about
How you will be a story

But you deserve so much more