WHEN LIFE IS A BLUR

Whenever I try and look back
My life has mostly been a blur
There are memories, for sure
More a whimper than a roar
The brain always was the spur
Hiding what a heart may lack

It was always about far to go
Travel, and much to achieve
The emptiness is yet to come
With few depths left to plumb
Only facts, not what I believe
So why do I now feel so low

I wish I could tell you
Everything will open up
Like a present
Under the Christmas tree.

Honestly, it takes gallons
Of strength just to make
It through a single day.

The conversations
With myself would
Make you want to
Listen to static
On the radio.

They say I am brave,
But I need binoculars
To find that person
The one who is my imposter.

No, my life is not
A floor filled with thumbtacks,
But more like a puzzle
Missing the last piece.

Did you think that I could warn you!
that I’d never hurt or harm
Did you pray to see the daylight
when I turned as dark as night

I am not as you perceive me
I am not one to deceive
If you only could receive me
I would give you my life for you

In the long run you’ll return to me
just to feel your body burning
Will you take me to the sea now
just to wash away these stains

Fate has bound our paths together
you agreed to take the ride
When I could not relieve you
you just left me here to die

Listen carefully
Clean your room and wash your hands
Now Say your prayers

WINTER COMETH

Do you hear winter, I hear it coming
That distant growl, there in the wind
Stronger now, than an autumn breeze
With the merest hint of an early freeze
And with no sweet taste like tamarind
But a biting cold that can be numbing

For some, it is a season for celebration
But its hidden scowl suggests otherwise
Hearing threats under its frozen breath
Of ice and snow, laying so still in death
Pretty snowflakes offering cute disguise
As so much of Nature is in hibernation

I may never again
know a love like this

I may never again
have someone look at me the way you do

I may never again
feel a touch like yours

But it's okay.
I've felt all the love I could ever ask for

And if all the love I ever feel
is the love between you and I,
that is enough

yesterday we lost Miko
our only panther black cat.
He was my sweet kitty boy
always asking for head pats.

Cancer in his tender jaw
rapidly it spread and grew
ravaging his small body
it advanced before we knew.

a tiny bump in his chin
over night became a lump
of size and matter to us
not giving into a slump

having little time with him
Steven read while I held on
we enveloped him in love
as he would meet his last dawn.

My neighbor, an irascible man, a few houses down,
often yells at the ice cream truck when it comes around.
He objects to the noise (or maybe it's the tune).

I take offense to his assault on my thoughts;
my youthful anticipation of cold sugary treats
on hot summer days.

I know one thing for sure, the next time the truck
comes around with its music and joy,
I will flag it down and order a cone,

Harken and cue lyrics to All I Need Is a Miracle
Song by Mike + The Mechanics.

I said
I wont cry
But, even blue skies
Make me cry
Now

Am I crying,
For you?

I miss you
Knowing
I can't have you

I love you still