The "high-a-load" phrase is a play on words. "Hyaloid" means transparent which I was when stoned out of my mind.

It’s forty years ago this fall Ford made
a Maverick of a car that I would own.
All baby blue before the rust was laid,
the poor thing never once a bath had known.

It could not move on tires with deep tread,
so I saw fit each one would show some steel.
I often filled them sheltering my head
prepared for high explosive as I kneel.

I caught you in my gravity
that summer many years ago
like tides capture a restless sea
and you've yet to let me go

Elliptically our journey started
we'd nearly touch then draw away
yet we never really parted
I wonder why you chose to stay

Now, over time, our orbits grew
to a perfect circle, pure
a binary system me and you
destined always to endure

Until now, still, here we are
separate from the galaxy
as we circle our own star
the way which it was meant to be

another morning bird
calling to dragging
again
shoulders to knees
creak like long timber
leaves like toes
rustling under sheets
here
squint squint
the street light
peeking thru the
blinds’ own missing teeth

balls sagging low
asshole stinking sweat
vinegar and shit
radiate me
but, time,
showers seem
unimaginable
tedious
like brushing
teeth
or finally living
alone

A thousand images this day reflect
Once gone in a simple tear,
I ponder what is left.
On what line do you stand?
In what truth do you believe?
On this day I find it to be
One simple moment in solitary.

In time hallways will grow old,
The park bench stretching so long,
The days seem so cold.
That simple tear not so simple,
A thousand life times inside
Four seasons sit within,
To the demons I can only confide.

spinning top peace..

I had a spinning top once
believing it would spin forever

But as hard as I pushed
it always
stopped

so soon it never span again
as a child

I couldn’t understand
now I do

at last, peace

awake the fear
scratching at the door
that thin sliver hall
light
the dusted carpet tired

outside the night is restless
an airport beacon turns
and runs its white tongue
upon the clouds

and the hydro transformer sizzles
in the damp mists falling

I can feel my soul
sitting in the chair
watching me as I toss
and I know the mirror
will play another role

the open mouth of the drain
will taunt me with its darling
sigh

In a world of worth,
all measured and tagged,
all judged and weighed,
all packaged and bagged,

all sorted and valued,
all you taste, touch, feel, see,
it's a wonder that smiles
and hugs are still free!

In a world of war
all battered and sore,
all frightened and bitter,
and asking for more,

crowded and lonely,
all riddled with guilt,
on the bones of our victims
our lives have been built.

used to see in black and white
now i see red
no one remembers
anything i said
and the rain is falling harder on my head
lucky right now i don't mind getting wet

wish i could say
in time it will be better
it's getting to where now
it's now or never
if only i could see her number on the phone
i'd understand if you said come back, come home
(chorus)
tell me i'm not good enough to have you
i'll take my heart and break it in two

What drives my battered auto
down the highway, straight to hell
is an engine fueled with regular hope
that everything goes well

The gas gauge doesn't work
I'm riding with low brakes
Searching for reverse
the steering-wheel... It shakes

This car is possessed by demons
I am almost sure
No mechanic's gonna fix it
for worn out, there is no cure

It reeks of body odors
there's coffee-cups and trash
Seats are ripped, the windows dirty
hood is crumpled from a crash

There are doors in the antechamber.
There is the always-choice to walk through any
one of them.
There are signs above the doors, a
warning to the effectiveness of being
affected.
But if it isn't known now, it will be known
sooner than later--if any door is opened,
even a little, little enough will be enough
because
nothing
will ever be the same.