bunnymug

Member since May 4, 2012

Member for 14 years, 1 month

member

7 Poems

27 Comments

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Most recent

are you slipping, my dear?

Posted Nov 20, 2009 · 16 lines · 3 critiques

quiet chants and pretty words you took them from me

given from a full and tender heart

will they know they’re not yours?

why snatch my small whimpers

re-packaged as neon

shattered windows of memory

are the shards of my soul

my meaning lost and subdued

i rail at the cut cost creations

you feed your adoring fans

(plastic echoes of fragile perfection)

how dare you, cold heart

when you’ve so much of your own

bunnymug’s timeline

May 2022
04 Wed

Anniversary
10 years of membership
May 2017
04 Thu

Anniversary
5 years of membership
May 2013
04 Sat

Anniversary
One year of membership
May 2012
04 Fri

Joined Neopoet
Membership begins

First poem published 1 days later.
June 2010
24 Thu

Received a critique
on impulse from @Esker
"the liquid distortion sometimes I used to drink hating what the depression did couldnt make it out of the rut the hold that helplessness had on me not willing to admit its much more then just me you write of this state…"
23 Wed

Received a critique
on commute from @Esker
"well worth it"
23 Wed

Received a critique
on commute from @Esker
"one year five months later "swish swish" for me its a joy reading it again but thats me I Love POetry especially this poets work Esker~"
22 Tue

Critiqued
"In for the moment" by @Esker
"not too far "out past the edge", i hope..."
14 Mon

Critiqued
"Lace up Freedom" by @Esker
"i'm drawn to your comments more than to your poems themselves.... "civility not my best suit I swagger and knock over hearts" love this."
May 2010
27 Thu

Critiqued
"the lake is sweet" by @Esker
"in these beautiful writes...."
22 Sat

Critiqued
"White Erstwhile" by @Esker
"'brushed with wings that tasted sky'...."
03 Mon

Critiqued
"Futile is the cup" by @Esker
"i like this... "sweet broken bone china" "the finger of chimney reaching to touch the cloud" "tranquil liquid sanctity" you are so right...there is nothing like fresh rain..."
February 2010
09 Tue

Critiqued
"WUNDER" by @orgami
"Good idea, whitetea..."
November 2009
21 Sat

Received a critique
on are you slipping, my dear? from @bjp
"This is a very interesting poem. I read it through twice. It is a new slant on the sting of loss. Except... there is one line of cliché added to cliché: "are the shards of my soul". Both "shards" and "soul" are on the "…"
20 Fri

Received a critique
on are you slipping, my dear? from @Seren
"What can I say .... this ones awesome on so many levels ... loved it ... cannot see anything to fault ... love Jayne x x p.s I tried to pick favourite lines ... alas they are all too good to pick :)"
20 Fri

Posted a poem
are you slipping, my dear?
"quiet chants and pretty words you took them from me"
Open thread 16 lines
14 Sat

Critiqued
"T E A R S in S H E A R " by @orgami
"i would suggest changing "petite mon" to "ma petite" (my little one)... just a thought. "we fumble fluid" "a moan written" "walking down the plush flesh of your sadness" your words take my breath away."
October 2009
27 Tue

Received a critique
on surrender from @Candlewitch
"I think it is better now. Always, Cat"
26 Mon

Received a critique
on surrender from @Candlewitch
"All for love sacrificed. Good title. I'm not sure if you need to repeat the last line twice. Good work. Always, Cat"
24 Sat

Critiqued
"P R E C I P I T A T I O N " by @orgami
""prisoner leaves still cling to limbs their time done they wait the break to fill the puddle brackish mirror to touch the sky and nestle in thin depths within" i have a giant maple full of prisoners in my backyard... th…"
22 Thu

Posted a poem
surrender
"set him free, insidious demons"
Open thread 27 lines
September 2009
07 Mon

Received a critique
on impulse from @Rottiestyl
"The battle to live these days is as you describe, an abyss of mega proportions. But here you have adapted. Able to still breathe through the gunk and turmoil. Who says mother nature is on vacation? Great read! This prop…"
August 2009
31 Mon

Posted a poem
impulse
"i throw myself into limpid waters"
Open thread 26 lines
April 2009
11 Sat

Posted a poem
dichotomy
"joyous sun appeared today"
Open thread 25 lines
09 Thu

Posted a poem
precipice
"falling off this ledge"
Open thread 22 lines
February 2009
04 Wed

First critique offered
on "climb the dark" by @orgami
January 2009
23 Fri

Posted a poem
pyre
"unsure"
Open thread 30 lines
22 Thu

First publication
commute
22 Thu

Most-discussed work
commute

10 critiques to date.
22 Thu

Posted a poem
commute
"four of us"
Open thread 30 lines