goatman

Member since May 4, 2008

Member for 18 years, 1 month

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28 Poems

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AZDROLOJEEST

Posted Feb 19, 2010 · 37 lines · 5 critiques

You get off at the posters of stars in my bedroom

intergalactic bride and groom procreating on sand dunes

you never felt this way about simple pixels

can’t fix them dimpels, as you smile it’s simple

you’re attracted, you’re attached to stars in the nebula

said you love their bodies and their hair forever, huh?

You can touch them with a luna explorer but

you gotta be rich to own one, not a beggar, nah.

I saw you wandering in the middle of the city

lights bright, closed eyes and teeth all gritty

you were late night sleep walkin’, sleep talkin’, sleep stalkin’

and obsessing over everything you couldn’t get

regressing into everything that you try to forget

Read the rest of the poem Show less

and I was filling up with utter regret,

should I have shown you that poster at the back of my bed?

It filled you with envy to the brim of your head.

So I hole-punched a hole in your cranium and inside was a planet

so stable and I was feeling so jealous, sorta creepy

I stuck in a straw, so sneaky and on the count of three,

after consulting myself and me, I sucked your whole soul out

I made your body breathe cigarette holes of doubt;

consider your body empty, consider your planet useless

you are the new Pluto and I am Earth.

I watched you degrade and degrade until you’re first grade

and then state of your state is absolutely insane,

and you’re not keeping up with the weather

not the sun nor rain

you’re falling to pieces and can barely hold your brain

like a lead weight, and there’s dead hate

boiled up inside me that you will appreciate:

I took your body and made it empty

I took your soul and sold it for twenty

I took your heart and ran over it with a Bentley

because you deserve something strong to destroy you, baby.

goatman’s timeline

May 2023
03 Wed

Anniversary
15 years of membership
May 2018
03 Thu

Anniversary
10 years of membership
May 2013
03 Fri

Anniversary
5 years of membership
February 2010
19 Fri

Received a critique
on seperation from @the_fool
"if you're sitting impotent and silently bitching, waiting, then yes, you have succumb. good 'desolate' imagery, such boredom you had! and we all write about ourselves, don't we? like your stuff"
19 Fri

Received a critique
on AZDROLOJEEST from @weirdelf
"Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible"
19 Fri

Received a critique
on AZDROLOJEEST from @weirdelf
"Also has the grittiness of the beat poets, streetwise and dirty. The repetition works well. Don't like the use of Bentley there Maybe "plenty" or "none too gently"? Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible"
19 Fri

Received a critique
on AZDROLOJEEST from @xena465
"Hi it's me, the fly of the spider. Your poem is well written and your flow excellent. However, you repeat a lot of words too much. I watched you degrade and {degrade} until you’re first grade and then state of your {sta…"
19 Fri

Received a critique
on seperation from @mark
"I just pass out but that's me. How can I be catholic if I succumbed at every ritual? good write goatman, Mark "Do not ask me about poetry, I am just a poet""
19 Fri

Critiqued
"Have you ever cleaned a rolling machine . ." by @mark
"about some poets is, they right about themselves and are greedy with feelings and don't share and etc. but you sir, you could connect with anyone from a bum to a business man with words like that. wise words, mark."
19 Fri

Critiqued
"Spider & the Fly" by @xena465
"to break the flow of nice comments but uh... come on? the metaphor of the spider seemed too cliche, the rhythm too standard, and well... I dunno, I don't get much from this. your writing, to me, seems to be cramped into…"
19 Fri

Critiqued
"Armana Art ~ a bas-relief in time" by @Kailashana
"you should jump on live. I'm waiting like some creepy stalker outside your door in a white van."
19 Fri

Critiqued
"INCOMMUNICADO" by @Bonitaj
"I like you, Godot."
19 Fri

Critiqued
"Armana Art ~ a bas-relief in time" by @Kailashana
"I am in a vindictive and criticising mood, but this is by far the best thing I have read on this site. finally someone speaks from their heart, not their eyes, sense, etc. I feel a kin to you. we should speak some time."
19 Fri

Received a critique
on AZDROLOJEEST from @Kailashana
"Oh, this rocks and rolls, this pines and needles, this births and kills, kisses and ravages the dawn. Power, what are we to do with all this power? ~A"
19 Fri

Critiqued
"Sickly Flowers (Maybe a Different Day)" by @Morgana Tragic Proprietress
"maybe I just can't appreciate the glory in this poem. this poem felt like a bit of a winge, and a childish one at that too. love is tricky one and so is teenhood, but I think patience is the key to both, not idealism or…"
19 Fri

Critiqued
"Conscious Play (revised)" by @Stefan
""The network of thoughts, the energy field of play The notion of creation, the building block of the soul We play the game, dividing the oneness of time." tasty list you got there... this poem looks real nice, rolls off…"
19 Fri

Critiqued
"Post-modern pseudosonnet" by @weirdelf
"one: I like the topic matter. it's sincere and heart-felt. two: wording is unique and interesting. formatting really helps too. three: the rhythm I find both boring and unoriginal. it is one that is simple and easy to u…"
19 Fri

Posted a poem
AZDROLOJEEST
"You get off at the posters of stars in my bedroom"
Open thread 37 lines
July 2009
15 Wed

Received a critique
on vigintillion squared from @weirdelf
"Great to see you, good write, lovely wordplay, fucking fantastic last line. Surely that must have been used before, its too perfect, whatever, it rocks here. a few typos I felt a bit voyeuristic after reading it was for…"
15 Wed

Posted a poem
vigintillion squared
"Don't delude my messages,"
Open thread 29 lines
May 2009
03 Sun

Anniversary
One year of membership
April 2009
14 Tue

Received a critique
on Mongrel #2 from @sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
"Goatman. I Can only say that this piece places my gray to a thought of a soldier. I disagree. As to be a jarhead in the life he is to keep. So thanks anyway for the time in your gray. Understand that I hold not a word b…"
March 2009
07 Sat

Posted a poem
Mongrel #2
"Your body knocks me back"
Open thread 30 lines
02 Mon

Posted a poem
Mongrel #1
"Ehehehe."
Open thread 23 lines
February 2009
09 Mon

Posted a poem
seperation
"the bleakness is a bomb"
Open thread 6 lines
06 Fri

Posted a poem
splendour in ze past
"what should I do pixie?"
Open thread 16 lines
02 Mon

Posted a poem
numb wad
"slow time"
Open thread 22 lines
January 2009
26 Mon

Posted a poem
we are zombies
"I see slums"
Open thread 36 lines
25 Sun

Posted a poem
like
"like."
Open thread 22 lines
24 Sat

Posted a poem
nozzles
"there are these nozzles on a spray can"
Open thread 20 lines
19 Mon

Posted a poem
Jetlag
"Heave my body to the dancing floor,"
Open thread 30 lines
16 Fri

Posted a poem
I AM NOT WORTH IT
"Quick sanded"
Open thread 18 lines
15 Thu

Highest posting month
January 2009 — 13 poems
May 2008
03 Sat

First critique offered
on "Fallen Soldiers" by @rider68
03 Sat

First publication
Metanature
03 Sat

Joined Neopoet
Membership begins

First poem published 1 days later.

15 years of membership

10 years of membership

5 years of membership

on seperation from @the_fool

on AZDROLOJEEST from @weirdelf

on AZDROLOJEEST from @weirdelf

on AZDROLOJEEST from @xena465

on seperation from @mark

"Have you ever cleaned a rolling machine . ." by @mark

"Spider & the Fly" by @xena465

"Armana Art ~ a bas-relief in time" by @Kailashana

"INCOMMUNICADO" by @Bonitaj

"Armana Art ~ a bas-relief in time" by @Kailashana

on AZDROLOJEEST from @Kailashana

"Sickly Flowers (Maybe a Different Day)" by @Morgana Tragic Proprietress

"Conscious Play (revised)" by @Stefan

"﻿Post-modern pseudosonnet" by @weirdelf

on vigintillion squared from @weirdelf

One year of membership

on Mongrel #2 from @sakkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

January 2009 — 13 poems

on "Fallen Soldiers" by @rider68

Membership begins

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"Post-modern pseudosonnet" by @weirdelf