Alobar

Member since March 14, 2008

Member for 18 years, 2 months

member

56 Poems

339 Comments

0 Followers

Most recent

today in the News (the trickle-down effect)

Posted Aug 14, 2008 · 15 lines · 3 critiques

Wal-Mart profit soars 17%
Sing Hallelujah!
Crack open the champagne
And drink ‘em down
Joyfully:
A celebration!!

Later
As your kidneys do their unappreciated job
Stand tall
On your balconies of gold
And relieve yourself on the blue-clad minions below

Wal-Mart profit soars 17%
Employees receive a generous
Well-deserved bonus

**********

Alobar’s timeline

March 2023
13 Mon

Anniversary
15 years of membership
March 2018
13 Tue

Anniversary
10 years of membership
March 2013
13 Wed

Anniversary
5 years of membership
October 2009
06 Tue

Received a critique
on Respect For Quiet Human Grief from @bjp
"This is a wonderful poem! Congradulations. Brian"
March 2009
13 Fri

Anniversary
One year of membership
August 2008
16 Sat

Received a critique
on today in the News (the trickle-down effect) from @Janice Pearce
"You certainly got me to smile with your words, thank you for posting~"
14 Thu

Received a critique
on today in the News (the trickle-down effect) from @Rett
"The evils of making money. *G* 17% profit for them, 17.5% for Microsoft and the bad old oil companies that everyone is berating made 8.45% and the government over 23%. Isn't the world grand? Good write Alobar! 10th line…"
14 Thu

Posted a poem
today in the News (the trickle-down effect)
"Wal-Mart profit soars 17%"
Open thread 15 lines
July 2008
31 Thu

Received a critique
on Respect For Quiet Human Grief from @Janice Pearce
"Wow is all I can muster!"
30 Wed

Received a critique
on Respect For Quiet Human Grief from @Candlewitch
"Your poem reminds me so very much of one of my favorite Tom Petty songs, "Only A Broken Heart" I have to say that your poem moved me almost to tears. Leave it just as it is it is very poignant that way, IMHO. http://www…"
29 Tue

Critiqued
"Come butterfly" by @Leon
"I'm thinking a second couplet might work. Leaving the fourth line as is, perhaps something like Friendship morphs, what is the reason? spinning threads for a fresh season. I also think a comma is needed between love and…"
29 Tue

Critiqued
"My Angel" by @DarkinAZ
"Reminds me of a favourite folk song I know, "How Beautiful She Looks" by Chuck Brodsky, but maintains a character all its own. I didn't read the original but this hits all the right notes, pulls all the right strings wi…"
29 Tue

Received a critique
on Respect For Quiet Human Grief from @infinite_dwarf
"What'd you do with the real Alobar? This writing is so unlike you, and it's a very moving piece. Any way you keep this will work out fine, in all honesty. ~Jess K. -------------------------------------------------------…"
29 Tue

Received a critique
on Respect For Quiet Human Grief from @Barbara Writes
"Smiles:) Barbara As for your question i think the poem has two part grief and if you remove the first bit it will stand alone beautifully, i think. Together it is still a excellent write."
29 Tue

Received a critique
on Respect For Quiet Human Grief from @mark
"I felt like I was at a wake and all was quiet but one man by himself weeping. Quite an experience here, Alobar. Mark"
29 Tue

Posted a poem
Respect For Quiet Human Grief
"He's only weeping, leave him be"
Open thread 26 lines
19 Sat

Posted a poem
Pause
"There's a pause in life sometimes"
Open thread 29 lines
12 Sat

Critiqued
"Warrior's Death Song " by @Rett
"Something about this sounds like it was translated from another language; was it, or did you mean for it to sound that way? It is classic and simple, and contains a nobility that, I sadly think, doesn't exist anymore. V…"
10 Thu

Posted a poem
Friend
"I’m here as you age"
Open thread 12 lines
June 2008
24 Tue

Posted a poem
Weakness and Sin
"I wish you could see in the mirror"
Open thread 26 lines
20 Fri

Critiqued
"Solitude" by @abrelosojos
"It's a sad poem, really, and not just for the lost love. Replacing life with television, even for a few brief days of healing, strikes me as sad... and real, in this day and age. But of course we humans have always soug…"
20 Fri

Posted a poem
Water Dance
"Upon the water’s surface"
Open thread 24 lines
20 Fri

Critiqued
"Where I'm at" by @themoonman
"This poem needs some work, you know that, but the opening line, don't listen to them, it's perfect. Vernacular is what it is, the vernacular between two people close (or in this case, once close). The... country singer…"
20 Fri

Critiqued
"The Other Side of the Coin" by @docmaverick
"I don't see a poem here... yet. I see poetic phrasing, I see the beginnings of a poem, and I see, well, complaint. It is existential complaint, it has teeth, but it is not encased in a poem... yet. I would urge you to g…"
13 Fri

Critiqued
"Walpurgis Night - Walpurgisnacht, Valborgsmässoafton, Vapunaatto, Volbriöö" by @Marius Surleac
"These are haunting images, you paint spectacular pictures. The poem slips in and out of rhyme, and the rhythm seems a little unsteady, but at the same time that seems to work. I do have to wonder though, if the poem mig…"
13 Fri

Critiqued
"centerfuge" by @orgami
"Years ago, I experimented a few time with psychedelic mushrooms. It was fun, not profound like in the movies and the Carlos Castenada books, but fun. One time, I remember putting my head into a what a space with mirrors…"
11 Wed

Posted a poem
Returning
"I am frightened,"
Open thread 21 lines
May 2008
30 Fri

Posted a poem
Every Moment that Passes
"In the waiting room"
Open thread 40 lines
29 Thu

Posted a poem
Homeless
"The rasp in her breath"
Open thread 40 lines
27 Tue

Posted a poem
Heroes
"Trash your heroes"
Open thread 25 lines
23 Fri

Posted a poem
Mercy
"When rains fall"
Open thread 18 lines
21 Wed

Posted a poem
Falling
"I feel as though tumbling"
Open thread 12 lines
01 Thu

Most-discussed work
Same Old Story

20 critiques to date.
March 2008
15 Sat

Highest posting month
March 2008 — 23 poems
14 Fri

First critique offered
on "inter urban" by @orgami
14 Fri

First publication
Striving For The Stars
13 Thu

Joined Neopoet
Membership begins

First poem published 1 days later.